


They'll Never Understand

by ETNMystic



Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [13]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, cw assisted suicide, cw cancer, cw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: Breanna and Jerry, best friends since birth, now a new couple, have their world turned upside down for good.(CW: Cancer, Suicide, Assisted Suicide)
Relationships: Breanna/Jerry
Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726699
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	They'll Never Understand

I sit in the cell, silently weeping. It's been six months since I had been taken to prison. I think about what I had done. What had happened to me wasn't my fault. Jeremiah had begged for me to do it. I didn't want to. I loved him too deeply for this to happen. 

I count off the days until I will be free. I will be free, but only from the cell that I occupy. I will never be free from the deep, dark sadness and regret for what I had done. 

* * *

Jeremiah and I had been best friends since we were in diapers. We played together, went to school together, and every Friday, when we were older, we would walk down to the ice cream shop together and order two chocolate cones. 

On one particular Friday, we were sitting on a bench at the park, eating our ice cream. I noticed that Jeremiah was extremely quiet. He was usually highly talkative, especially at the park. 

"What's wrong, Jerry?" I asked.

He turned to me.

"Bri, I've been thinking. We've been best friends for fourteen years, but I feel like we could take our friendship up a bit."

"How could we do that? We're already best friend's forever. What could possibly the next step up?"

"I can't find any other words to ask you this. Will you, Breanna Mora Smith, be my girlfriend?"

I was surprised at his question. True, he was a sweet guy and I knew that he thought that I was beautiful, but I didn't think that he would ask me to be his girlfriend. However, I didn't want to say no. To be honest, I had secretly fallen in love with him when we were twelve.

"Yes, I will be your girlfriend."

* * *

Those six words changed us entirely. I was thinking about Jerry a lot. He brought me gifts to let me know that he was thinking of me. I was more open with him and he with me. We went to the ice cream shop much more often, sometimes to just sit and talk.

Everything was going perfectly for about two years. We were at the park with our ice cream. But once again, Jerry was extremely quiet. 

"Jerry? Jerry, are you okay?" I asked.

He groaned.

"Bri, I don't feel good. I feel like I'm burning up."

That didn't sound good. 

"Can you make it back to my house?"

"I-I'll try," he said, standing up. He staggered a bit, then fell onto the hard concrete.

"Jerry!" I yelled. Without hesitation, I whipped out my cellphone and dialed 911.

* * *

He was immediately taken to the hospital. I sat outside in the waiting room quietly, nervously. Was it life-threatening? Was he going to be okay? A million questions swam through my head. 

After hours of waiting and anxiety, I found out what was wrong. Jerry had been diagnosed with leukemia. He needed to stay in the hospital for a while. I was slightly relieved. At least he wasn't dead. 

I came and visited him each day. We talked together until the nurse told me that I needed to leave. But I never wanted to leave his side. I promised Jerry that I would never leave him for anything.

One night, I came to visit him. But he was really quiet this time. Jerry wanted to tell me something, but it seemed like he couldn't find the right words to say it.

"Jerry, what's up? You can tell me."

He sighed heavily and spoke.

"The doctors are going to take me off of life support soon," he said.

"What? Why?" I asked, shocked.

"They're convinced that there's nothing that they can do to help me get better."

"No, there must be some other way."

"Well, there's one way," he said.

He pointed to a full bottle of sleeping pills on a shelf.

"Bri, get that bottle."

I grabbed it, not sure of where he was going with this.

"How many do you need?" I asked.

"The entire bottle."

I looked to the bottle, then Jerry, then the bottle again. I knew where he was going with this and I didn't want it to happen.

"Jerry, no! You are not going to kill yourself!"

"No, you're going to kill me."

"Jerry, I love you. I don't want you to die! We could run away together!" I exclaimed, knowing that running away with him would be impossible in his condition. 

"If I'm going to die, I want someone that I trust to end my life for me. Someone I trust. Someone who I've known for the sixteen years of my life that I've been alive."

"Jerry, there's no way that I'm going to kill you! I love you too much!" I exclaimed, tears leaking from my eyes.

"There's no other way! This is my choice. Please, Breanna. I'm going to die soon anyway."

"I can't do it, Jerry!" 

"You have to. Please! There's no other way that I want to die. Please, Breanna."

He looked at me, pleading with his eyes. I realized that he was right. There was no other way. Tears flowing silently from my eyes, I opened the bottle.

"Are you really sure about this, Jerry?" I asked.

"I'm sure. I don't want to die any other way."

I dumped the pills out onto my shaking hand.

"I love you, Jerry," I whispered, kissing him on the cheek. I put the pills in his mouth. He swallowed them.

"I love you too, Breanna," he whispered back, his eyes closing. The heart monitor gave the loud, long beep and that was it.

* * *

I sat in the room for a long time, crying violently, when one of the nurses walked into the room. 

"What happened?" she asked, looking at Jerry.

I held up the empty bottle of sleeping pills.

"You killed him!"

"No, I didn't!" I exclaimed.

"Don't you lie to me! You killed him!"

"He told me to do it!"

"You liar!" she yelled.

She went over to the phone and dialed 911. I couldn't let this happen. I tried to grab the phone from her, but two other nurses came and restrained me. I screamed at her as she talked to the police. A while later, she put the phone down.

"The police are on their way. You're going to prison for murder!"

"He begged me to kill him! When are you going to understand that, you bitch?" I screamed at her.

"You're a liar. You'd best keep your damn mouth shut before you get into anymore trouble!"

I struggled to free myself from the nurses' arms. I screamed ugly names at them, until one of them gave me a shot. I started to feel sleepy. Was I going to die? I hoped so. I wanted to be with Jerry. He would know that I wasn't lying. Those nurses didn't understand. They'll never understand.

* * *

It's been six months. I sit in my cell, letting the anger out. I want to be with Jerry. He's the only one who will understand. No one else will understand. Not the judge. Not the jury. Not the other inmates. Even my own family thinks that I killed him out of vengeance. But what reason would I have had to kill him? The only logical explanation is the truth. 

I promised Jerry that I would never leave his side. Not for anything. I am determined to keep that promise. But how? Wait a second. There's a knife in the cell. Looks like the warden was stupid enough to leave it with me. This is my only chance. 

I grab the knife and aim it for my heart. I hesitate at first. I must have more to live for. I will be free from the cell in six and a half years, but I will have gone insane by then. I can ask for a retrial, but no one say yes, let alone change my verdict if I'm able to have the retrial. No, I must keep my promise to Jerry. Not just because I promised, but no one else will listen. I aim the knife at my heart once more. No one understands. 

They'll never understand.


End file.
